Lost Shoe

How could it be so possible that out of this big world you'll find the pair of your shoe?
Would it be possible that you've already met that someone who could stay with you for the rest of
your life?  What would be the level of probability that along our way into work, we've already glance
at each other?  How could a genius tells us that fate have given us chances to meet that one special
person inside the bus, or jeepney?  How could a philosopher give us a rational explanation why there
is this one thing called, love?

Big city!  I had of glimpse of myself working in a big city 9 years ago.  It felt like there is a mystery that
awaits me somewhere in the corner of that big town.  I knew it before that it is something "blue" that awaits
me.  Today, I have already arrived.  The bus of my destiny never stopped searching for my destination, and
so I'm already here.  Everyday I make sure of not neglecting to thank God for leading me into the right way.
It is indeed one of God's graces that I must be thankful with for the rest of my life, and a lot more thanks
when someone would finally arrived, knock on my locked heart, and bring the pair of my shoe. (naks!)

I honestly don't know how to describe it, but it's as if I know where to find him.  At this point in time, I mingle with different people, and boys are everywhere.  There are different types of guys that I assumed they're just existing in movies.  These features are: Mr. Gentleman who will carry all your luggage and gently bring you on your work station, Mr. Serious who keeps themselves busy with their work, Mr. Religious who in a sense a very contagious guy, to the point that you are unconsciously memorize all the prayers because of the radiance of  his love to our Holy Father, and even Mr. Right does exist.  There is also "nerdy-silent" type who will just smile at you when your eyes meet.  What I laugh most is a type of guy who often tells you his pity and sick moments, and I don't get the reason why.  I presumed these guys are boys who solely raised by their Father, and need more motherly affection.

Furthermore, it amaze me that the real world also contains the type of leading man in a block buster movies.  These are the kind of guys who find hard times in exercising there face muscle, in short they don't smile.  They are the devil and more like an antagonist who eventually turned out into a nice beast.  However, they are still beast, and I have met one of them.

I couldn't forget the first time that I met that beastly guy.   It's quite long if I'm gonna dig into the detailed story of it, but to make it shorter I met him during the Company turn over.  Things were too complicated then that I couldn't answer the questions pertaining to the network infrastructure of the company, and luckily he was the one who frankly told me that I SHOULD KNOW EVERYTHING even if it's beyond my job
description.  Well I say it's a dangerous thing to know everything.  Maybe during that time, I didn't know the answer yet. But he doesn't have an idea how I burned coils at night just to patch things up and understand each information and transaction that I've been handling for just in a month or two.  That almost 6 footer guy made my day, and I hated him.  Moving forward, he seated beside me cornering into the narrow work station of my office mate.  He asked me for a password but could,'t gave him even a single one, 'cos honestly I did not want to initialize any communication with him.  He asked me again for a wild guess, so what I did was to give it a try, it was just because I couldn't get rid of him.  Imagine, he seated before me and I couldn't find a way to get out of that work station, and totally disappear into his sight.  So there, I gave it a wild guess and tried to make a friendly conversation with him, but he asked more questions that I could hardly answer.  This person pushed me into my limit.  Until I've decided to just shut my mouth at the corner, and there he goes, he asked again.  This time it's not related to the Network Infrastructure, it's about me.
He asked where unit would I be assigned when their company would totally invade us. I joyfully answered his question to hide that I really wanted to slap him for annoying me.  After an hour of suffering beside that pale guy, I finally found a way out of that corner, but annoyance didn't end here.

He kept on asking me to send the report that he found through his email.  How can I send it?  While following me and calling me in a different name, he handed me a calling card.  His complete name was written there including his contact numbers, designation, Dept./Unit, email and everything.
What can I say? Amazing!  At his early age, he's already one of the young Junior Assistant Manager which the same title that I got today.  Going back, I tried to send it though, I know it was just a way for him to know my complete name.  I did not give him anything to remember, even my nickname that's why he called me into a different names.  Does anyone has an idea what happened after that day?  Of course nothing.
I assumed our path won't meet again because the Company is so big and the probability of meeting that annoying guy is really crucial.  But of course, I was totally wrong.

After 7mos., we met again, and wow, we are both working inside the four corners of the office.  Look how the fate played this game with me.  I was actually hoping that he can't annoy me anymore, but he was so hideous, and I guess I'm tasting my own medicine because of his naughtiness. I believe he could recognize me, and that drives him to stare at me in a scared way as if I owe him something.  This time he knew my real name, the Security Guard asked for my name and I've spelled it and pronounced it in a syllabicated way for him to get the correct spelling.  Unaware of it, Mr. 6 footer is behind me.  And he scared me the way he looked at me.

Everday is a hide & seek day.  Thrilling, exciting but more often it seriously shivers me. One time I was about to go home.  I just have to wait for my office mate for turning off  her computer.  I was aware of his presence because he was mixing his coffee in front of the water fountain resided near us, what I did was I silently talked, but to my surprised, when I decided not to talk at all, he made a simple glimpsed towards my work station, of course he found me standing there and for a hundred times he scared me again with his glances, and was smiling alone.  He seemed like he lost his sanity!  When we went out of the office and waiting
for the elevator, he hurriedly open the door and joined us inside the it.  He locked himself at the corner of the elevator where my reflections were all seen.  I could see him staring at my reflection until we've reached the ground floor.  He first let us went out of the elevator before he stepped out, and he made a single act of kindness.  He pushed his arms against the elevator's door so when I go out with my heavy luggage, I wouldn't be slipped off between the door.  He followed us until we've crossed the corner outside the Company.  Somehow, it touches me.  I never thought that a guy with hideous beast behavior like him knows how to be gentle.

The following day, he scares me more.  It was late and after having a dinner nearby the company, I was walking alone going back to the office.  We were supposedly cross each other's way but he saw me.  He stopped walking and waited for me at the street corner, while I was all aware that his sight was heading into my way back to the company.  He stood to the corner while looking at me having my walk away from him, but I don't know how long did he stay.  I ran, and I didn't mind if he saw me running.

Hence, what's the point of telling this story and enumerated the different kind of guys?  Because it's just a living proof  that even if I felt of finding the pair of my shoe in the big city, it's a strong indication that there are plenty of good guys existing in this world.  This drives me again into the conclusion that I should lock my heart into a shelve fervently.

I was thrice lost in a dance, and I don't want to be lost in a blind alley.  Without any standard of a dream guy, I realized that this life, specially the life here in a big city would just take you into the midst of artificial hope.  You know, immature feelings triggered by the artistic tactics of guys just to win a girl's heart and after a weeks or two, a month or a year, it will all just turn out into cold tears and broken hearts. But
base on the book that I've read, words are life set down on a paper.  Same goes in life scenarios: feelings are set down into this world to nurture the promise of fulfilling each and everyone's fate.  I just hope that even if the alley would be as narrow as the water pipe or as wide as the ocean, there's someone at the other end holding the pair of shoe that I've been looking for all these years.  I wish he's not just watching me on my way going to my destination, nor following me like a stalker.  Let me know that you're there.  Let me hear your name, as you wish to know mine.